The 4 Pieces of Advice After A Loss
Words of Wisdom when Processing a Loss For Players, Parents, & Coaches
A letter from Coach Brad Cole
For all our US Soccer fans whose hearts are still heavy with the World Cup loss or our high school and college players and alumni still carrying a defeat from their playoffs, this is for you.
1. Understand that only 1 Team’s season doesn’t end in heartbreak.
If you are an elite team or one with aspirations of a championship; the most likely outcome is heartbreak.
“Most people’s problem is not that they didn’t reach their goal, it’s that they didn’t set a lofty enough goal,” is something our head coach, Nick Carlin-Voigt, just told our players Understanding that going in is important.
Failure can be success and success can be failure.
2. We will all 100% fail each season if our goals are results-oriented
... it sounds grim but it’s true. I don’t coach players to win, I coach them to pursue the perfect game. We pursue perfection which is impossible. We have to continue moving the goalposts on ourselves and understanding that we can’t achieve the ultimate goal.
This creates a constant need for more.
When you lose at the end of the season or when you win - the goal for perfection won’t leave and so nothing really changes.
Remaining neutral is key, instead of focusing on wins, focus on perfect performance and that’s a continuing process. It’s what makes great teams come back for more.
3. Everything is easy when you win.
True character, grit, etc.. are discussed when winning but tested when losing. Every loss should be seen as a test of mental fortitude. It’s normal to feel bad. Some people might not want to get back on the horse. BUT, can you respond to each hardship you face in life slightly better than the last one?
I’ve been a college coach for a decade almost and this was the furthest my team has made it - it’s also the fastest I have rebounded from a loss even though it was almost a career-defining season. You learn to live with it.
(Check out some of the coverage from Brad’s most recent playoff bid with the Portland Pilots, how they prepared and their game)
4. If your best wasn’t good enough then that is perfectly fine.
There is honor in that.
We are in pursuit of competitive greatness where “we are at our best when our best is needed”. We train to become our best so when it’s needed we can show it. If we fail, it means our best at that time wasn’t good enough and it can lead to inspiration to be better. Your reaction to the situation becomes your reality.
These are just some of my initial thoughts. It’s not an easy fix or easy thing to come to terms with.
Brad Cole, December 2022
If you’re looking for some more coaching tips from the Far Post team, look back at Coach Todd’s latest advice on How to Deal with Criticism.
Do you have a favorite piece of advice that has helped you process a defeat? Share it in the comments.
Brad Cole